Author: Matt Keough

All my clueless friends are coming over tonight

Bocephus got the boot. Not the cowboy boot, which I presume he already had, but the metaphorical boot out the door. I’m sure you are familiar with the story. Hank Williams Jr. had his performance on the Monday Night Football open axed because he compared President Obama to Hitler. This is a really stupid thing to do. Only he didn’t. Please watch the video. Fair warning- it is awkward.

Hank might not be the most well-spoke man, but he was not saying President Obama acts like Hitler, dresses like Hitler or is a vegetarian (like Hitler.) He was making a bad analogy. Any analogy that involves Hitler is a bad analogy, of course. It is unwise in every meaning of the word to evoke that kind of evil.

What amazes me, though, is the repetition by news sources that he compared Obama to Hitler. I guess the story was too good to check. I don’t think an honest person who watched the clip could conclude he was comparing the two men. You might just as accurately say he was comparing Boehner or Kasich to Hitler, if you applied the same (lack of) logic.

Also, while it irritates me the way the story was framed, it also irritates me that anyone would invoke the First Amendment to defend Williams. ESPN isn’t the government, and they can play pretty much any song they choose before Monday Night Football. It is not as though many people will see it anyway.

I will not celebrate Memorial Day

American culture really has lost it’s way, I think. I saw an ad on cable TV for a local car dealership that advertised a big Memorial Day Sale. It was full of excited chatter, as we’ve come to expect from car dealers on cable TV. But this one went one beyond. It used “Celebration” by Kool and the Gang as the soundtrack. Great tune or wedding receptions and graduation parties. Totally inappropriate for anything remotely connected to the true meaning of Memorial Day.

This is why I despair. One or two people do not make a television commercial. Even low budget commercials have a whole team –  writer, producer, editors, camera operators, a director and an audio guy. How is it that not ONE of these people paused to remind the others that “Celebration” is a horrible choice of music for a Memorial Day ad?

Memorial Day is meant to remember and honor the military men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice – the sacrifice of their life – in service of our nation. How can any adult think that this is akin to a celebration? Have we strayed so far from understanding what this day is intended to represent that we only think of a day off of work and picnics?

While I think giving thanks to veterans and those currently serving in the military is important and honorable, Memorial Day isn’t even the day set aside for this,  Veteran’s Day and Armed Services Day fill this role.

Please take time time to really reflect on the true meaning of Memorial Day, even if the advertisers and the rest of the world tries to distract you.

My bucket list, and how you can help

I’ll be the first to acknowledge that I’m middle aged.  This means that I’ve already squandered at least half my chances to check items off my bucket list. Actually more than that, several things on my list are unavailable to minors.

To keep it concise, here are some items I would like to cross off.

  1. Ride in the Goodyear blimp. Goodyear is about to convert its fleet of blimps to dirigibles, so this is an urgent matter. I ask any of my friends with a direct line to Goodyear public relations the help me make this happen.
  2. Skydive. This one is simple. But I’m a pretty large guy and have the little voice inside my head saying that the parachute couldn’t handle it.
  3. Get a bad ass tattoo of St. Michael driving a sword through Satan’s head. I can’t decide if it would be in color or where I’d get it.
  4. Travel to Ireland
  5. Travel to the Vatican
  6. Buy a nice bit of land somewhere in the country with a little cabin and some water to fish in.
  7. Fly in a WWII fighter plane
  8. Kick the winning field goal in the Super Bowl. (OK – that’s not going to happen, see next item)
  9. See the Browns field goal kicker kick the winning field goal in the Super Bowl.
  10. Hit the winning home run in the World Series. (Sigh -see the next item)
  11. See the Indians win the World Series

So there you have it, the things I’d like to experience before departing this life. I don’t really expect my blog readers to help with any items other than #1. If you happen to be a member of the Cleveland Indians, the Cleveland Browns or a tattoo artist let’s talk.

I unliked REM today

Facebook is a funny thing. It has created a whole new language and usage. You probably immediately knew what I meant when your read in the title that I “unliked” REM. Back in the day when you could just list interests in music, movies, TV and the like I had REM listed. Then Facebook converted all your interests into ‘likes” of (usually) official pages.

Today I finally “unliked” REM. That is not to say that I dislike REM. If you knew me in my college radio DJ days you could hardly imagine I would ever renounce my affinity for the four from Athens. A few things happend in the meantime.

  1. The four from Athens became the three. In early interviews REM insisted that each member was integral to what the band was. Bill Berry left the band, and they didn’t disband. Can’t say I blame them, but it eroded some of the myth of their unique cohesion.
  2. Green was an overtly political album. I support the right every American has to free speech. But don’t expect me to pay you for your opinion. I like jangly guitars and country-tinged harmonies. I don’t like being force-fed leftist sloganeering.
  3. I saw a VH1 special in which Michael Stipe couldn’t hold a tune singing along to “Brandy” by the Looking Glass while he rode in the back of a limousine. He then insisted the song was misogynistic because it said “what a good wife you would be”. If you ever needed an illustration of a limousine liberal, save that image.
  4. I grew up. Part of being young an really “into” music as a young man is the desire to identify your tribe. I never really was a conformist in that I liked big band, jazz, country and classical. But my persona was the guy who could pretend he knew what Stipe was singing.  As you get older and have some more real life experience behind you, it is less critical to identify with anything but your own perfectly flawed self.

So there you have it. I still like the music of Chronic Town, Murmur, Fables of the Reconstruction, Life’s Rich Pageant, Dead Letter Office, Document (particularly that one), Green, Out of Time, Monster, Automatic for the People. I just don’t care if you know that I do.

What I learned this Lent

Now that Lent has passed I can post here again. No, I did not give up posting at my blog for Lent. For a moment there I tried to fool you but bearing false witness is highly discouraged somewhere.

What I REALLY gave up was saying “That’s what she said” and drinking all soda. I did not have any problem at all forgoing the soda. Was only tempted a couple of times and I didn’t give in to the allure of sweet sweet aspartame. I’m not guzzling the stuff like I used to and I’m happy about it. I’d say I am proud of it, but pride is also discouraged.

The TWSS vow was harder to keep. I did well, but could not resist on some occasions. I know this nearly unconscious involuntary utterance is a bad habit not fitting the mature adult father and husband I am. I might mention that I was using that phrase long before The Office was on television. It was habitual even in my college days. I do think I was set up a couple of times by people who new I was avoiding that joke who fed me perfect lines.

What I learned this Lent? I can control what goes in my mouth better than what comes out of it.

John McCormack, THE Irish Tenor

My dear wife was looking for a suitable version of “When Irish Eyes Are Smiling” in preparation for St. Patrick’s Day. I searched iTunes and found a version by the Irish Tenors, several by Bing Crosby and even more by artists I’m unfamiliar with.

The track I downloaded was from John McCormack. I was amused by downloading music recorded for Victrola distribution via the same channel that made Lady Gaga a star.

I recall my mother telling me that my grandfather Murphy enjoyed John McCormack recordings when they were most popular. I enjoy the idea that his great-grandchildren will at least hear the recordings he enjoyed, perhaps they will enjoy them as well. They are part McCormack on my father’s side, so perhaps there is a familial connection as well.

After I found the music on iTunes, I realized the site www.archive.org has a very deep catalog of historic recordings of 78s and similar media. It is an incredible web site and you can spend hours browsing the collection. I highly recommend if you have any interest at all in music history you check it out. (They also host the Wayback Machine that will reveal what many websites used to look like)

Enjoy the Collected Works of John McCormack at Archive.org > http://www.archive.org/details/JohnMcCormack

Sinners with dirty faces

Friends, I promise you that this blog will not post exclusively about religion, but it is Ash Wednesday so bear with me for another day.

You know what the most obvious thing about Ash Wednesday is, right? It is the one day every year that Catholics (like myself) can be easily identified because of the black ashes on their foreheads plain as the nose on your face.

Hopefully, we are all being great Witnesses (in the pre-LeBron sense) and you can tell we joyfully live our faith every day. But being realistic, today it is really easy to point out the Catholics. They will know we are Catholics by our smudge.

Another well-known practice is that Catholics are required to fast on Ash Wednesday. It is a pretty moderate fast, in the spectrum of fasting. It basically boils down to “Eat Sensibly”. But still, we throw a big bit of dirt on our face when we fast today.

Here is the kicker; the Gospel reading every year is the same – Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18 which contains:

And when you fast, be not as the hypocrites, sad. For they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Amen I say to you, they have received their reward. 17 But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face; 18 that you appear not to men to fast, but to your Father who is in secret: and your Father who sees in secret, will repay you.

I’ve asked a couple priests and I’ve heard more than 30 homilies, yet I still can’t wrap my mind around why we do this. I admire our Church for giving us this opportunity to challenge ourselves every year, but it still strikes me as odd.  If you’ve heard or read a really great explanation of this particular theological puzzle, let me know.

(And not to be uncharitable to my separated brethren, please don’t use this opportunity to try and convert me, thanks!)

And when you fast, be not as the hypocrites, sad. For they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Amen I say to you, they have received their reward. 17 But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face; 18 that you appear not to men to fast, but to your Father who is in secret: and your Father who sees in secret, will repay you.

Ashes Eve

The liturgical season of Lent begins tomorrow, so of course that means many of us will be “giving up” something. I have about seven gallons of carbonated beverage in my gullet, as of midnight I will forgo soda until Easter Sunday. I have a built-in support group at work as several of us are taking a “40 Day Challenge”.

The 40 Day Challenge is, of course, derived from Lenten atonement albeit by several degrees of separation. I didn’t point out that if you are really doing something to improve yourself for the next forty calendar days, you will have finished the challenge before Easter.  But you can’t really ask a secular workplace to get into the arcane details of Catholic tradition.

In fact, the mere hint of giving something up for forty days that happens to coincide with Lent brought out comments from some folks who claim to be still recovering from Catholic guilt brought on by attending Catholic grade school. When overhearing someone younger than me claim this, I had to bite my tongue. Catholic grade schools have not been drumming in the lifelong guilt trip since sometime before I attended them.

Biting my tongue will also come in handy for my other officially posted 40 Day Challenge. I shall refrain from the comment “That’s what she said!”

So starting tomorrow, I’ll be soda-deprived with a sore tongue. Bring it ON!

Opening Days

Time to return to blogging. This is about the fourth or fifth post in which I’ve had to say that. Actually I don’t have to say that,  but I feel compelled to do so.

Two new seasons are near upon us, Lent and baseball. Lent’s opening day is Ash Wednesday. Baseball’s Opening Day is a bit later. Given this confluence of two important aspects of my life, I’ve decided to update the banner at the top of this blog. I took the picture at Progressive Field before a Mass held there last fall. It was odd to attend Mass at Progressive Field, but my parish is pretty progressive so it felt familiar.

Be forewarned that my posts will probably touch on either or both sports and Catholic topics in the near future.